The Errant “Change” Principle in Human Relationship Building

I don’t think people “change” for other people and I don’t think they should. I believe you look for a relationship partner that is headed in the spiritual direction you are going, that shares your interests, and that helps you complete your material life journey and you have to do that for them. I don’t believe someone who is NOT the person for you magically becomes or chooses to become that person or vice versa. If you don’t like what you see from the outset, don’t get involved and in so doing, make someone else your “construction project”. What will happen if you DO is that you will get mad at the person when they don’t change and actually seem to like themselves as they are and they will get mad at you when YOU don’t change. We do not live FOR other people. And are not supposed to. I love Imani and I am sure God does. If someone else does and they see me as a potential to help them on their path as a friend or as a mate, great. If not, we still cool but I am not asking them to change into something and I don’t plan to. The idea of someone “changing” themselves FOR you is largely driven by arrogance and ego. The notion that I am so important that someone else has to be other than they are to please me to prove their love to me might be great for some kind of English royal or something, but come to me with this and I’m heading for coat check and leaving the tab on the table. Not the

As Maya Angelou said, when people introduce themselves to you, believe them. That is, as their actions reveal who they are and the nature of their character, recognize that is who they are. They MAY change but may not. Your decision is whether you want to or are able to engage the person that IS, not the one you dream could be.


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