Afrikana Relationships Redux

Many Afrikan women who misidentify with Eurocentric feminism, confuse venting and undiagnosed psychological and spiritual trauma with feminine “consciousness.” Missing in their diatribes are any analyses or awareness of the structure of Eurocentrism and how it has confused us about what it means to BE Afrikan men and women, Afrikan parents, Afrikan heterosexual couples, and how it has put institutions in place to undermine them. Also missing are any positive statements about Afrikan men or relationships or frankly, the people as a whole. Their defense? They seemingly want to warn fellow sisters not to fall into the manholes they have come across in their walk. Ok, BUT you don’t tell your people to be fearful of walking ENTIRELY because manholes exist or that the road is entirely made of them. Rather, you teach them to distinguish the manholes from other parts of the road and then you encourage them to STILL WALK!

Those who know me know I could say a whole lot disparaging Afrikan women as a result of my negative personal experiences with a lot of stuff but you won’t ever see that here because I seek personal healing rather than pity-parties and co”misery-rating” and because I still believe as Afrikans collectively do in the notion that we advocate FOR successful relationships, marriages, and families with each other as much as with others as a cultural norm. We also believe that these are necessary, albeit not sufficient, prerequisites to talk about nationbuilding or the rebirth of Afrikan civilization as Chancellor Williams called it.

So I am always going to uplift Afrikan women, as well as men, regardless of any personal stuff because we have to make it work together if we are to survive as a people. I will continue to bring light to successful interactions we have cross gender with ourselves. I will continue to hold the banner of collectivist Afrikana womanism against individualistic Eurocentric feminism as a legitimate theoretical path to solutions. I apologize to any Afrikan woman who has ever been wronged or is being presently wronged by any Afrikan men, including me, and I accept the unspoken apology of Afrikan women who have wronged or are wronging Afrikan men because I know we are not ourselves. For 400 plus years we were brutalized, denigrated, and invaded culturally, spiritually, psychologically, and physically and conditioned to do that to each other. Men became pimps, hustlers, gangsters, thugs, and niggers. Women became hoes and bitches. We embraced our respective images of each other as given by our oppressors. We could not BUT hurt each other. But we can spend 400 more years recycling that OR we can build using what we were before as a template and advocate for change. Paraphrasing Black Sheep, the choice is ours.

I pray in the name of God and our ancestors for the healing of all our men and women who are hurting because we know not who we are in THEM and instead seek to be who we are not.


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