A Real Father’s Day

I am losing my dad. I don’t understand this generation and how so many just kind of ignore their dads or “fathering” figures (not just biological) only seeing them as sources of material resources until it’s too late. My dad never gave me much in the way of money and never had that much to give me, but I listened to him and watched him and he taught me a great deal about being a man in life, the good and the bad, and where and when he could, he opened doors for me. I had to prepare myself and walk in them, but as long as I stayed the course to something generally good, he was there. This generation doesn’t really respect fathers or husbands, having been socialized and sometimes brainwashed into seeing them mostly as financial providers or sperm donors or nuisances to be tolerated but never truly listened to, relied upon, or made equal partners in marriage or parenting. Laws, traditions, and customs, as well as public policies in Eurocentric society reinforce this. And being denigrated and given false models of being a man, husband, or father, they turn emotionally cold, abusive, self-destructive, and become those kind of men unworthy of those titles and roles. This becomes a vicious cycle we must break. Now that I am in the process, it seems, of losing my dad (right before his birthday which follows right after Father’s day), who never gave me a lot of money and wasn’t always present because he had to work all the time to take care of us, I have reflected on my REAL inheritance from him, his examples and life lessons.

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