I don’t think “the n word” is “ok” but I think the idea is a kind of projection revenge social psychology. You see it often. A word is used against a social group. They don’t have the power to stop the social use. So they try to disempower the word by claiming it, giving it a supposedly positive redefinition that contradicts its history, and then saying we take possession of this word from you. We make much of the n word when there are many other words in this culture like that. the b word comes to mind. Clearly a sexist term against women now embraced by some women as a statement of strength or self determination. Queer is another one I’ve seen people attempt to reverse as well.
My problem is that while we make much of the words themselves, the real issue is the social order, education, and spiritual problems that gave rise to the word. I don’t think the n word disappears in either form until the “n” mindstate and spiritual state is deconstructed. Words are forms of communication that emanate from one’s mind and spirit. My own language began to change as my spirit and mind began to grow with God’s help.